Slow destruction

It's one of those days. The tension has been building up since morning. Or maybe it already started before that. It's hard to tell and there is no use thinking about where it came from. It's just there. An overwhelming feeling. An obsession. From deep inside my brain. Carefully hidden. Secret.

It scares me when the feeling comes. Scares and excites me. I know I can't push it away. It will only come back stronger and the tension will keep growing. First somewhere deep in my stomach. Soft. Lingering. Like a tickle.

A tickle that suddenly shoots to my brain. Like a rocket. Without a warning. Bursting with light. Taking over all my thoughts. Like big waves of the ocean. Attacking the beach at high tide. Wave after wave. Relentless. Just enough time to breath between each burst of obsessive thoughts. But never enough time to get them out of my mind.

She.

She is so much more beautiful then wife. In every single way.

She is younger. Dresses more sexy. Wears amazing make up. Has long red nails. Sharp and ready to attack. The kind of heels on Her feet that wife would never wear. The kind that she says only sluts wear. And She knows my secrets.

The dark ones.

The ones that make me think of wife as an ugly cow. A fat ugly cow.

Compared to Her. Well. There is nothing even remotely comparable.

A Goddess and a boring hag, that shouldn't even exist.

It's already happening. I can't hide it anymore. I'm obsessed with my Goddess. Jerking off for hours already. Staring at her photos and clips. Edging my cock in a trance. Hoping She will be online soon. Leaving desperate messages on Her mail.

I stopped fucking wife long ago. It gives me no pleasure and I can't even get hard with her. But even the smallest thought of Goddess makes me so amazingly hard.

Thinking about Her, while I was in bed this morning next to wife. Touching my dick for Goddess. Looking at her pics while wife was reading in bed. Touching my dick for Goddess.

It is the only way I can get off. Wanking for Goddess! Her amazing curves. Those fantastic firm big breasts and great ass. So many times I imagined it on my face. Her bright red lips and long hair. She is perfect!

And I know what She thinks about wife. She told me last time. Sometimes wifes are convenient, She had said. Cooking. Cleaning. But not in my case. I could be spending so much more time and money with Goddess if wife wasn't around!

Pleasing Goddess more. Despising wife more.

That is what Goddess wants. That is what I want!

She is a disgusting piece of woman. I should stop denying myself. I should focus on Goddess more. On Her needs. On Her demands!

I don't even care that wife suspects that something is going on. That I get that far away look in my eyes when I think of Goddess.

Not fucking her anymore and not paying attention to her boring stories.

Goddess was so proud of me when I told Her that I don't fuck wife anymore. That my dick is sore from wanking off to Goddess. She loves that! Especially when I said it out loud and jerked my dick for Her at the same time. This is how Goddess wants me to be.

Worshipping Her. Homewrecking wife.

She taught me how to do this. She taught me how every stroke for Her counts. How every euro that I put in Her account, is so good! Fuck the presents for wife. Give Goddess those great designer heels that She desires. Pay for Her holiday. Fund Her new car.

She is so evil. So beautiful. She loves to control my mind. Each time a little bit more.

I know what She wants. It scares me but my dick gets hard. I want to do it. It will make Her so proud! She wants me to visit Her. To take a plane and go to Her. She doesn't care what excuse I use. She just wants me there. At Her feet. Worshipping Her and Her alone. Spending all my savings on Her!

She gave me one week to come up with a plan. One week or She will not allow me to see Her on cam anymore.

So this is where I am. Jerking to Her photos. Worshipping Her. Everything about Her. Knowing She will destroy me. Litttle by little. And getting so excited by that idea.

She knows I want to serve Her. She knows She can demand everything from me.

First She destroyed my sexlife.

I don't want to fuck ever again. I just want to wank for Her.

Now She is destroying my marriage. And I am doing nothing to stop Her. No I am actually doing everything to make that happen.

She demanded a video of wife sleeping and me jerking of to Her pictures next to wife.

And I recorded it for Her.

It made Her so proud!

And now She will be online soon.

Waiting for my answer.

And She will destroy me.

And I want it.